As trite as it may sound, living abroad – and by that I mean truly LIVING abroad – changes the way you see the world and yourself, except not in the ways you necessarily expect. In my experience, being bi-cultural is as enriching as it can feel alienating; you “belong” to both places without completely “belonging” to either like some kind of strange mutant creature between two shores. When I’m in France, I’m the token American and when I’m in the States, I become the reigning authority on all things French in the eyes of those around me, whether or not I actually know what I’m talking about. So what am I? On paper, I may still be American, but the truth is that living in France has changed how I think about lots of things, from politics to what to serve when having people over for dinner.
The questions I get from French people about the States range from the inane (Question: “Do you have potatoes in your country?” Response: “Uhhhh, potatoes originated in the Americas…”) to the theoretical (Question: “How do you explain your country’s relationship to guns?” Response: “Uhhhh, can you pass the wine, please?”). Another one of my favorite questions is, “I have an aunt who lives in New Jersey! Maybe you know her?”
I suppose that it’s only natural that people in France often ask me about life in the US of A, but sometimes it gets on my nerves. Sometimes I just want to be me, not the token American! But if that’s the case, why do I catch myself often starting sentences with, “Well, in MY country…” I swear that when I hear those words coming out of my mouth, it makes me cringe! Why do I think that the person gives a hoot about what we do in “my country”? And why do I voluntarily bring it up when half the time I’m annoyed when other people do? To make matters worse, I do exactly the same thing in the States! “Well, in FRANCE…” Sure, people might be interested to hear about the US or France as the case may be, but probably not all the time! Conclusion: being bi-cultural makes you hyper self-aware and slightly insane, at least in my case. On that note, I think I’ll pour myself a glass of Bordeaux and whip up some Annie’s mac and cheese… May as well embrace the best of both of my cultures!
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